What happens to our sense of self when someone tells us we’re smart—or not so smart?
In this episode, we sit down with Marcin Zajenkowski, professor of psychology at the University of Warsaw and co-winner of the 2025 Ig Nobel Prize in Psychology, for his study on how intelligence feedback affects temporary narcissism. Along with his collaborator Gilles Gignac of the University of Western Australia, Zajenkowski showed that telling people they’re above average on an IQ test can boost their feelings of uniqueness and specialness—while negative feedback can dramatically lower their self-assessed intelligence.
We explore how the team designed their experiment using real tests but fake feedback, what their findings reveal about everyday praise and criticism (from classrooms to parenting), and why “intelligence” carries a special weight compared with traits like empathy or emotional intelligence. Zajenkowski also explains how trait narcissism can act as a shield against negative feedback, how imposter syndrome fits on the other side of the spectrum, and what his research suggests about staying realistically positive without tipping into self-delusion.
Whether you’re curious about psychology, narcissism, intelligence testing, education, or the quirks of human self-perception, this conversation offers a rare insider’s look at an award-winning experiment on how a few simple words can shift how special we feel.
Timestamps:
01:45 - Study Design and Background
05:33 - Implications for the Education System
09:50 - Why are People So Defensive About Intelligence?
12:57 - Do Depressed People Reaffirm the Negative?
15:11 - Are Americans Too Positive?
18:43 - Couples and Mate Selection
